We all know this feeling of being unhappy with ourselves and the life we have created. We all know this feeling of needing to improve in one way or another and after a while, we get tired of feeling stuck in this momentum of unhappiness. We decide to change something. We decide to change our habits, change the people we call friends, or make big changes like moving to a new city or even a different country. We decide to question everything we simply allowed to be our daily routine. We start to create a new vision for ourselves and plan out how we want our ‘new life’ to be. These moments of absolute suffering and desperation create a great chance for growth and personal development. We get so inspired and motivated to finally achieve what we have dreamed of for so long and hope to finally find the courage to make the changes.

But you may also know that you have been at this point many times before and maybe you made plans or even set off, but eventually, you ended up in the place you started – in the place of absolute unhappiness and routine, a lifestyle that simply sticks with you out of convenience. In this post, we help you find the source of your hesitation and procrastination, give you important notice on what indications you should be looking out for and hope to inspire you to create healthy self-development.

What is the intension?

The first and most important step is to create a stable foundation for yourself. Go ahead, take a pen and paper and write down the following questions:

• Why do I want something to change?
• What exactly do I want to change?
• Why exactly do specifically these things need to change?
• What do I hope to create with these changes?

By simply answering these questions an internal process begins. Everything in nature is designed to find resolution and thus is our mind. By asking the right questions we will always trigger healing in one way or another. Allow yourself to answer these questions with the first things that come to mind for they are not fear-based, but wish-based and are more aligned with your deeper truth. Dare to dream big and be honest with yourself.

An Insidious Trap

Be aware a lot of people wrongly interpret the definition of self-development and become addicted to false self-improvement. They end up covering self-sabotage with the illusion of doing themselves something good.

Being determined, focused, and committed to your dreams and goals is a good and powerful thing. The key is to notice when you unconsciously are guided by the trap of self-improvement in order to suppress (for example certain emotions), to cover up (how you really feel about yourselves), or to make you seem like something or someone you are not. Use self-development as a tool for becoming more authentically you each day and not to hide and fight what truly defines you. Use self-development to follow your dreams, to discover and live yourself more truly. By following these healthy structures of more self-care, self-love, and especially self-awareness you automatically create a better relationship with yourself and thus create a better feeling in life. There is only a certain amount of energy given to you. It is always neutral. How you decide to use it is totally up to you.

Take the amount of energy you use to fight yourself to empower and motivate yourself and make your dreams happen.

Real self-development builds you up and reconnects you with what truely matters. False self-development has you trying to become a different person, has you hiding your core being a little more each day, it simply is a cover.

Náomi Poppe

Self-Development vs Self-Improvement

You may be wondering ‘Is there really a difference between these two?’ and let us tell you ‘Yes, there definitely is.’ Self-development is simply you evolving. Self-improvement on the other hand is you evolving but determined by a definition. The definition is up to you and can be viewed differently by everyone. Self-improvement is designed to ‘make you better’. The downside of this concept is that there is no room for wrong decisions, change of course, and most importantly failure while these are the key moments and lessons that make you grow as a person.

In this sense, self-improvement makes self-development impossible. On the other hand, self-improvement is an inevitable outcome of self-development. Allowing yourself to make mistakes, learn and grow is an important step in this success and performance-oriented society and definitely is the best prove of self-improvement caused by self-development.

Where to start?

Self-development is something that continuously takes place in our lives, but we get to choose whether we do it consciously or not. The ‘awareness-approach’ opens up the possibility to actively choose the direction we want to go and (co)create our reality. While it may seem like a lot of work in the beginning it actually ends up being a powerful lifestyle we can absolutely advise you to create for yourself. The knowledge of you actually holding the key to your reality makes you feel unbelievably strong and confident while leaving so much room for trust and compassion.